4Sight Coach » Why you can't help yourself.

Let's talk about Solomon. King celebrated for his wisdom, who famously was very successful at helping other people. But he struggled to take his own advice. This dilemma is known as Solomon's paradox, and that's where we can see the answer for other people, but not ourselves. Imagine you're advising a friend on a career move. You give them clear and coherent advice, and it just flows naturally. But when deciding on your own next step, suddenly, the clarity vanishes. Now, this isn't just you. It's a psychological phenomenon rooted in our cognitive processes.

When we're dealing with our own problems, our feelings can get in the way and make it hard to see what the best choice is. Here are a couple of ways that our emotions can mess with our decision-making:

Feelings over facts: Sometimes our feelings are so strong that we don't pay attention to the real facts of the situation.
Seeing what we want to see: If we want something to be true, we might ignore anything else that tells us it isn't. We just focus on the stuff that makes us feel better about our choices.
Stress messes with your head: When we're stressed or worried, we might not think as clearly. We might make quick decisions just to feel better, even if it's not the smartest one.
Taking chances: If we're scared, we might not take a chance that could actually be good for us. Or if we're too excited, we might jump into something without thinking about what could go wrong.
Forgetting the past: Our emotions can even change how we remember things. If we were feeling down, we might only remember the bad stuff from before and not the good things that could help us today.
Getting tired of deciding: Decision fatigue is real. And making decisions when we're all worked up can wear us out and lead to choices without much thought, just to get it over with.
Worrying about others: Sometimes it's not just about what we feel. We also think about our friends and family's feelings, which can sway us in a direction we wouldn't normally go.

Maybe King Solomon was the original coach, talented in seeing the problems and solutions for other people. Coaches are trained to help us navigate our emotional landscapes and provide the objectivity we often can't muster on our own. They bring not just skills, but experiences that enrich our decision-making process, helping us apply our 'Solomonic wisdom' to our own lives.

Coaches leverage a variety of tools, from goal-setting frameworks to accountability checks, ensuring that you're not only making decisions but also sticking to them on execution. They help balance the emotional with the rational. By being that supportive catalyst, coaches ensure that your decisions are not clouded by bias but illuminated by your own deeper insight.

So how can we learn from Solomon and better our decision-making? Just by knowing that this is a real thing has already helped you. You know that one of the main reasons why Solomon was successful, and why coaches are so successful, is that they provide perspective detached from the emotions of the decision or the scenario.

So the next time that you're facing a decision that you're not sure about, take a minute and think about what you would say if it was someone else facing it, like a friend, a family member, or a stranger in line at the grocery store. Write it down so you capture it before your brain starts spinning it around as soon as it realizes it's your problem and not somebody else's. This is going to help you see clearer, make better decisions, and eventually, hopefully, rule your own kingdom.